I'm clean. I've been clean for quite a while. But you, you make be want to take it all over again. You make me want to get so fucking high that I don't even know myself anymore. And that really scares me.

It's my fucking money, I earn it. Therefore I will do what I bloody well want with it. Even if that means hiring some Male Elf Strippers.

You're still very much alive, somewhere. But the way I keep breaking down, it's as if you've died. It's like I'm standing here and the world is going on around me, but how can they? can they not see that I'm hurting, screaming silent lungs out inside. Everything is just so surreal. Can't you tell me that I'm being just a little bit stupid? Can't you tell me anything? I never got goodbye, but maybe I would not have handled it. But then again I'm not handling it now. Unless you call crying, and looking back handling things? I miss you. But maybe you don't miss me. I'm actually terrified that maybe you hate me and it was all some big charade.

1000 Girls, Two Hands, One Epic Month

1000 Girls, Two Hands, One Epic Month

Wow I can't believe how bold he is, sure takes bravery. I really love some of the girls reactions.

I wish I knew, if you were worth all the tears that I've cried for you.

I'm feeling out of place or something. I have no clue what's going on with me but I don't know how to stop it. Since he left I don't know it's like I've backed away and put the walls up. I'm normally a very social person and hate being away from my friends but now I'd do anything to be away from them except a select 2 people. I mean yea at school I'll hang around with people but that's more out of necessity than anything else. But as soon as the final bell rings I just don't want them near me, I'll go out of my way to avoid them. I make up excuses and lie my way out of hanging out with anyone. If people texts I'm irritated and never really reply. I spend most of my time alone, reading and longboarding when it isn't too cold.