The snow could never be as cold as you are
With those icy eyes piercing through me
No, the winter couldn’t do this, only you
Because you are truly frozen, to the core
Nothing could melt the case around your heart

I don't think anyone can fully understand love, because when you think you do, love takes a turn and takes you on the ride of your life. But then sometimes that's just part of the fun so you hold on and hope you'll make it.

I’m going to sing each word as if my life depends on it,
And maybe it just might because this is my hearts song.
Each word is woven into the very fabric of my soul
And the lyrics make up each and every part of me
I’m the melody, sometimes soft and sweet
I am also the harmony harsh and hypnotic

I see the scars like words, decorative, fine lines etched into your skin
And I know your story isn’t over but where does it begin?

A thousand thoughts run through my head
I remember all the words you said
As I lie here alone in this bed

I still can’t accept that you’re gone
I’m listening to our old song
And remember the times we’d both sing along

I hope you remember it all too
And please don’t forget that I love you
Maybe that will always be the truth

So I keep looking at this picture and thinking I miss you guys. Yea every girl needs her best friends and you two are definitely mine. It doesn't matter that we haven't known each other since we were little because I hope we'll know each other the rest of out lives. Lacey, Peter I really do love you guys. Every memory we share is absolutely amazing. And every time I see your smiles I feel amazing. Please do me a favor and never, ever stop being the amazing people you are because you make the world a better place just by being you. Yes, I realize you guys may not be perfect, but you are perfect to me.

Haha I couldn't resist, I had to post more pictures of my lovely Tan Tien. I seriously love it. Last night I managed to ride the couple blocks to my Auntie's and back with out falling, so I feel really accomplished. I just want to learn how to carve better and how to ride switch.

"In the faint light she looked half-transparent, bleached of color, wrapped in white like an angel. It would be a pleasure to make her fall..."

-City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

'Keep me safe', she whispered softly
'Hold me close and please don't drop me'

So I suppose it's time I reveal my goal for now: Longboarding. Haha maybe a few people know. But yea I want to be able to board bombing down hills, sliding and other tricks and just a faster, cheaper and more healthy means of transportation. And this is my board, the Loaded Tan Tien. I love it. To ride feels so free, and just amazing.

She may be lost, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to be found.

So I saw you yesterday, on day 30 of not really seeing you. I guess it's summer so it's not a big deal. Although I was a little hurt. Maybe the time had a bit to do with it but it was mostly your actions. I don't think you would have even noticed me had I not spoken out in such obvious shock about seeing you. What hurt more was your very flimsy reasoning when I asked if you were ever free and told you to text sometime instead of being such a stranger. Maybe it's just me and maybe it'll all blow over. But I am scared, I don't want to lose such a great friend.

Calm, cool and collected, maybe on the surface but it's more like out of control, outrageous and out spoken.

When you're drinking good quotes happen: "Same fuck, different bed."

Right now I feel lost among the days. 29 days since I last saw you, and I miss you. 18 days I've worked and missed out on so much so far this summer. 7 days since my phone filled with all the messages that made me smile decided to die. And even the days stretch ahead. 4 days until my goal is a beginning reality. 9 days until I take on house sitting on top of my job. 14 days until I can think about getting away from this town. And finally about 33 days until Summer will become a distant memory.

"You can't lose a girl you misplaced years before. Stop looking, stop looking..."

-Forever by Maggie Stiefvater

Sometimes we have to think on the bright side, what are some things you love? It can be anything to simple moments to a huge part of your life. This is my list:

I love the soft stillness in the air when walking in the woods in Autumn.
I love the way my best guy friend Peter grins when he is obviously up to something.
I love the way my bunny hops up to give "kisses" when you open the top of her cage.
I love the comforting smell of rain in the air when you're caught outside.
I love how right and yet suspended I feel when I'm walking home at night and I can see the stars shining above me.
I love how gentle and quiet Peter is when he lays there gently tracing my lips and other features with a careful artful finger, his eyes deep in thought and soft as ever.
I love falling asleep to a thunderstorm outside, it's just calming in a wild way.
I love waking up to still silence, with a text message waiting for me from someone I care about.
I love watching the landscape slide by when I'm in the vehicle on a long drive.
I love the safe and secure and right feeling I get cuddled up to someone I love.
I love the freeing rush you get when going on fast rides at a carnival.
I love how time seems to still when I curl up and get absorbed in a book.
I love the secrets that old books seem to hold when you open them.
I love the smell of the smoke and the crackle of the fire when you're huddled around it.
I love walking around the town with friends late at night, it's so still and almost ghostly.
I love laughing until I snort when my best friend tickles me, even when I tell him to stop and pretend it's mean.
I love the way the sun sets in the summer, painting the sky an array of beautiful colors.
I love walking the trails out by the lake, even when Lace and Jazz run ahead and hide from Peter and I because we are apparently less out doorsy.
I love the pointless snow ball fights me and my friends start and end only when we're laughing too hard to throw anymore.
I love going to new places and experiencing things there.
I love when I stumble across old pictures of my friends and I or notes and drawings we've exchanged, it brings memories that were just out of grasp back to the surface.
I love sitting there and talking in circles with friends on a lazy afternoon when we have nothing better to do. We come up with the most outrageous scenarios and pointless games so it is always worthwhile.
I love the inside jokes I share with my friends, they confuse the hell out of everyone else but never fail to make us laugh all over again and enable us to add more.
I love going to the lake or the river with friends and slowly wading in, screaming playfully about how cold it is.
I love having my hair just gently played with, it's so calming and just over all nice.

Does this friendship mean a thing to you? Or was it all pretty little lies?

I have a million things I wish I could say, but not a single word I can think of seems right for what you need to hear.

Death s inevitable and yet I fear not. I have lived all my life just a breathe away from his cold grasp. But each time he knocks upon my door, I am not home to welcome him, so come another time he must.

"Even in the dark, Love was easy, When we didn't make it so hard"

Last night I laid there and couldn't get you off my mind no matter how hard I tried. You know what I remembered? You lying next to me and tracing my eyes and lips with gentle fingers, so care free and artistically. And I remember the soft look in your eyes watching as you did so. I still wonder what you were thinking?

When I say life is full of surprises, I mean you never know how the dice will be rolled. One minute someone may seem like your very worst enemy, and yet, when you need someone to say something to cheer you up and to talk to, they are the one that is there. And then on the other hand the person you thought you could've trusted for years will turn out to be the worst thing for you.

You make me feel things so magical I never want to forget it. I want to take these feelings,and these emotions and bottle them all up so I can save them. That was I won't ever forget this, or you.

I'm hard to handle but if you can't handle me then you sure don't deserve me.

Life is changing fast, I look back and over the last month or so I have grown so much. I'm not the girl I was when some of you used to know me. I fell out with friends and found real ones. I decided I needed to think of me a little more than just putting everyone and everything else first. And I guess I fell into some things I never thought I would. But overall it's all part of living and the experience. It also leaves me with questions and I think I will have to find myself all the answers because there really isn't anyone else out there who could help me.

I'm so hurt, mad and just overall I miss you. But you know what? I think I'm going to stay away a while and see how things go once August hits. My anger towards your actions or rather lack there of may just give me more determination.

Irony must be a whore because she just blew my mind.

Don't just dream big, live big too.

Did we lose ourselves somewhere along the way? Or did we just lose site of one another?

Is it so bad to want a little encouragement once in a while?

Don't like gay marriages? Don't get one. Don't like cigarettes? Don't smoke them. Don't like abortions? Don't get one. Don't like sex? Don't have it. Don't like drugs? Don't do them.. Don't like porn? Don't watch it. Don't like alcohol? Don't drink it. Don't like guns? Don't buy one. Don't like your options taken away? Don't take away someone else's!

Saw this quote on Silverfish, honestly it inspires me and encourages me to keep going. Love it.

"If you love to ride, then your a longboarder. Skill doesnt matter and in the end, how nice your set up is doesnt even matter. If your a guy or girl with a longboard, that just enjoys it, then your a longboarder."

Wherever I fall, I'll still be the same me.

Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs until I lose my voice completely. Then maybe you would finally hear me.

Does there really have to be a type for everything? Not everyone has to be classes. Expect what should be unexpected. Because when you looked at me and said you thought I'd never be the type you were wrong. But don't label me now.

You get my higher than any drug ever could.

Just over two years ago, I fist met you. I thought you were completely adorable and you made me smile over such a simple thing. Just over a year ago, I walk into a class and you're there. I thought that you were gorgeous. Yea I can't deny I had it bad, and well maybe I still do. But back then I thought knowing you would just be impossible because we were from different groups, so you were just a distant thought. These days I see you every few days and talk even more. Now I'm just afraid to get too close in case you disappear.

Never forget reality with the person you love is better than dreams, because one day you could wake up to find you've lost the moon, while you were busy counting stars.

I honestly don't care if I live up to your standards or anyone's for that matter, as long as I live up to my own.

History was changed the day we met, at least for you and me.

Whether I fail or achieve something, I believe that I took the risks and I lived my life.

Don't say it unless you mean it. And if you mean it, get ready to prove it.

A lesson all men should know: Having a dick makes you a male, it doesn't make you a Man.

This is the honest to god truth, seriously I'll chill instead of take the chance of freezing my butt off.

Feelings may change, but remember the memories never do.

There are some days that make me wonder if our worlds are too far apart for friendship, let alone anything else.

Darling I can't write you a love song, because it's already been done. Our love is the song and our life together is the words, the rest is all just background music.

Started learning the basics of skateboarding and longboarding today. i did pretty good except my one wipe out, that ended in me laughing uncontrollably over my own fail. Now I have a huge bruise and some road rash, it's sweet though, means I'm getting somewhere with this. It makes my goal a bit more real.

I saw the sunset with you and I hope we'll see the sunrise together.

And here I though fantasy was better than reality, that was until I met you.

You're the glue that holds me together.

It's funny how you're not even here and yet you've still managed to paint a smile on my face and compose laughter on my lips.

Oh the amusing conversations I have over texts with McWeiner.

Peter: Sup Rhi

Me: Just chilling out with a movie, you?

Peter: Sweet, which movie? And I'm just chillin watching wheel of fortune haha

Me: Lolz interesting choice. I'm watching Despicable Me.

Peter: Haha it's my gramma's choice. That's the cartoon that came out not too long ago right?

Me: Yea the one with the yellow dudes. How was your day?

Peter: Nice, and it was fun, me an my sister, grampa and uncle went for a bike/longboard ride around an island, it was pretty sweet. What was your day like?

Me: Lol sounds like lots of fun. I went to Red Deer again with Lacey and my cousin. Then we soaped the trampoline and put a sprinkler under it. :]

Peter: Noice, was Red durr as dead as yesterday? Haha, damn trampolines are dangerous enough without extra slippage.

Me: Yes very alive today. And you should know there is fun in danger. I survived with a scratch.

Peter: Ya well it coulda been worse...I watch funniest home videos, shits crazy.

Me: Paranoid? Lol jk. And the important thing is that I didn't have one of those AFV moments. :D

Peter: Hahaha luckyyyy, well I have balls to protect when I go on a tramp. And I've seen far too many poor bastards pinch em in a spring or whatnot.

Me: I'm sorry I just had a good laugh over that. But honestly if you don't dick around that shouldn't happen.

Peter: Well of course I'd dick around, that's what happens when you're a teenage boy with lots of raging hormones ha.

Me: Lol but if you dick around too much you get your balls stuck in a spring like other poor SOB's.

Peter: Exactly, that's why no dicking around will take place when balls are vulnerable to pinching metal coils. I'm too young to be known as Peter "sorry-sac" L****r.

Me: Hahaha I have no clue what to say to I'm laughing too hard. :D

Peter: Hahaha oh c'mon I could've come up with a better name than that, I just didn't wanna take all day lol.

Then a bit later....

Peter: So hows Despicable Me?

Me: It was pretty good. The yellow dudes are great. Hows Wheel of Fortune?

Peter: Sweet I thought about watching it but then I decided it would be lame ha, and wheel of fortune is over, now we're watching cops xD

Me: Its only lame if you can't laugh. And cops is always exciting!

Peter: Hey I know how to laugh, maybe that movie IS right for me. :P and hells yea, I'm getting all sweaty just watchin'.

Me: Lol possibly. And be excited from this side of the tv only, I don't want to turn on the tv one day and see you on cops. :p

Peter: HA, I was just thinking that... "What if my grampa saw me on cops one day" he'd probably laugh and call me a dumbass.

Me: Nice. Great thought process right there! Please don't bring it to life though.

Peter: Hahaha yea, and I'm pretty sure they they have to tell you if they're going to put it on tv, so I'd do a little acting while I'm at it :D "NAH, THAT'S NOT MY CRACK, I SWEAR I'M HOLDING IT FOR MY PET TIGER, THAT BITCH IS ADDICTED FO LIFE".

Me: Omg lol. XD

Peter: Haha or something to that degree.

Me: Well nothing like a bit of impromtu acting eh?

Peter: Haha caught off guard by police while possibly half cut? Honestly I think I'd just comply and not be a douche, in previous encounters that works best lol.

Me: Previous encounters? Oh do tell lol.

Strange isn't it? I don't miss my 'family' even though they'll be gone a month. But I miss you and you are gone for like a week.