I'm getting a bad attitude, bad habits and making bad choices, I know that. And it's all just part of my stupidity. I'm trying to do things to numb myself because what is hurting me is something I haven't even said on here because I can't I haven't even completely told myself since I haven't accepted it all yet. But none of the bad is helping me get back on my feet. Substance abuse or all the misuse isn't making me forget and it probably never will.